Q: I’m very concerned because my son has gotten involved with a girl recently, and I think it’s only a matter of time before they have sex. How can I talk to him about this without sounding old-fashioned or preachy? I’m afraid he’ll just laugh at me. — Mrs. T.G.
A: You didn’t mention the age of your son or if he lives with you. I’ll assume that he is high-school-aged and living in your home. It’s a fact that a majority of teenagers have sex. It is a large part of the their emotional and physical development. You may not like to hear it, but it’s true. There have been a number of abstinence programs advanced lately as a way of reducing pregnancies and STD’s among teens. However, these have been a terrible failure because teenagers have sex. These programs are also dangerous because they do not educate our youth about contraception, STD’s, or prenatal care. I would urge you to talk to your son about the risks of pregnancy and STD’s, and offer him good information about contraceptives and how to obtain them. Assuming that he is living with you, you can demand that he not engage in such activities in your home. However, this will not stop a determined teen boy.
Religions (especially Christianity) have been oppressing their adherents for millenia. One way they do this is to create a large number of (mostly) arbitrary rules. They can then use the threat of eternal damnation (or stoning, burning at the steak, excommunication, etc) to attempt to enforce these rules. Since sex is such a fundamental part of being human, attempting to make us feel guilty about our sexual desires and practices is a great way for religions to control their believers.
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