Q: My husband and I went through a rough time in our marriage several years ago, and although things are much better now, he still won’t forgive me for my actions during those months. How can I persuade him that it’s all behind me and I truly love him? It’s like a dark cloud. — W.W.
A: Trust in a marriage (or any relationship) is very difficult to regain once it is lost. However, trust between two people is one of the most important aspects of a successful marriage. It is possible that your husband will never be able to forgive you or trust you again. Since your marriage appears to be stable now, I would suggest having a frank discussion about what you both want out of your marriage in the future and what you can each contribute. If you feel that forgiveness and trust are important, tell him. If he loves you and wants your marriage to continue and to be happy, he should be able to articulate what will lead him to forgive you. It may just take time. If you cannot reach an agreement that you think will ultimately result in his forgiveness and a re-earning of his trust, you may want to consider a divorce, so that you each have the opportunity to establish new, healthy, loving relationships. I would highly encourage you and your husband to seek out a certified marriage counselor to assist you in working through this process.